Friday, December 14, 2012

Why I write


I ran. Fast. Out of breath. Lungs bursting. Legs hitting the earth. I thudded up the path, around the corner, right up the stairs and reached the door. I flung it open and ... suddenly.. I heard them. Those dreaded footsteps right behind me. I knew it, I knew I was being followed. I whipped around and saw...

Me!

Me said breathlessly, ‘Don’t run away! We need to talk!’

‘No,’ I said, ‘there’s nothing to talk about. One of me is bad enough. I don’t need two.’

Me said, ‘You always run away from what you’re afraid of, or what you don’t like. Face it!’

‘No,’ I said, trying to shut the door, but Me had her foot in it. ‘Go away. I’m afraid of facing you.’

‘What are you most afraid of?’

So I stopped. Me wasn’t going away. I said slowly, ‘I’m afraid of being alone. I’m afraid of running out of money, of friends... I’m afraid of losing those I love. I’m afraid .....’ and I went on and on. Me and I – we went in through that door, and we weren’t running any more. We sat and talked about it. It all poured out – the fears, the tears.

After a long while, Me said, ‘Why don’t you write about it? About what you think? About what you want to.’

‘No,’ I said, ‘I’m afraid. What if no one likes it?’

‘Only one way to know. Only one way to attack this. It’s your first fear. Face it. Write.’

So I sat and began to write....

40 comments:

  1. Wow! Seriously this one is just for me. Amazing post Jane...love it absolutely.

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  2. And you're gonna write, - right?

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  3. It's beautiful. I'm afraid to face so many of my fears too. I owe my 'me' that one to one session now.

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  4. Janey, get your gun! Whoa Girl!

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    1. er... was that a compliment or threat, A K ?

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  5. Super post...amongst your best:)
    Isn't it an irony that we risk losing our own self because of the fear of losing all those "other" things?

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    1. Yes, it takes courage to be one's self, when one knows especially, that one's self is not quite normal :)

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  6. nice loved it could feel the fear in me...telling shud i read it or not :-)

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    1. it is. I'm still afraid some times. No most of the time.

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  8. Awesome ....i agree.. this is one of your very best...... your "me" was right.. so happy you listened and keep writing... i can never get enough..

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    1. Thanks Futsi. You have a wonderful trip back to your childhood trees!

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  9. I want to pen down my fears as well...I guess we should have it as a theme sometime next week.

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  10. what a beautiful thought! and so well put!

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    1. Thanks Uma. Honoured that you had time to read this during your vacation.

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  11. I love your writing style!! And this was beautiful!!

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  12. Now this list will be never-ending.... but the best thing is to enjoy the moment... reflect on good memories and if you can block away the fear.......that is if you can't meet them head-on :P

    My biggest fear though right now is that you getting too serious!!!!!!!

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    1. Haha, yes Ira. I realised I was getting away from the looniness of this blog too. Will try and stick to inane insane observations and lighten the mood of the universe once again. :)

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  13. That was very profound Jane! A situation that would be kinda scary to me though :) !! Super one, as ever, even if away from your witty take I've got used to :).

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    1. Right Aparna. Now that I've got the seriousness out there, going to revert post haste to the lunacy! :)

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  14. So true. It's the one thing that's common for every one of us - the lack of guarantee...but to accept that and live life boldly is enlightenment and I'm far from that stage :(

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    1. You're not as far as you think you are, Deepa. Trust me, I've seen you and you're brave!

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  15. What a perspective. What a story. What a thought. Loved it

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    1. Thank you. That makes me happy - to have connected on some level.

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  16. always love d way you write.. and what a take!

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  17. That's why they say-you are your worst enemy and your best friend 'coz no-one knows you like you yourself.The day we come to terms with all our fears and insecurities will be a day to celebrate!!
    BTW,how many times do you erase and re-phrase when writing??I seem to do that all the time!!!We all want to sound oh! so correct and so ....am actually hunting for a word here....and I feel the minute I do that there is something I do not want to project/share/whatever!!!We are seasoned liars,Jane....we hide and run away from ME at every instance...

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    1. You've raised so many valid points I don't know which one to reply to. And this is not the right forum anyway. A long chat over a huge pot of chai is. Next time you're down, huh?

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  18. wow .....just wow.... ok now there is a wow, just wow and a some more text. so I'll end here.

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    1. Thanks J Barnett. I'll settle for the first Wow.

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