Monday, December 24, 2012

Santa's list


Dear Jandy,

You’ve been asking for things since you were 4 years old. I’ve been delivering. At 7, I caught you popping awake in the night trying to crack open your ceiling to make a chimney.

Now, it’s my turn to make that list. Better be sure you deliver, girl!

  1. A new reindeer. Rudolph (who is actually female, as you’ve read, because she has antlers in this season) is too whiney. She keeps asking me if her nose is too red, and her butt is too big. Of course, as you know with most of the female species, no answer is good enough.
  2. L’oreal hair dye. Because I’m worth it. I don’t wanna look like an old man. I’d like some of those pretty young mommies to offer me a cup of hot chocolate when I get down the chimney. So how about it? Auburn – you think that would suit me? Or silver black?
  3. A smart phone with GPS. It’s not funny having to travel the whole world at night, with only a whiney reindeer to guide me.
  4. Spectacles. Phew! Have you ever tried reading a 5-year-old’s handwriting? I’ve got asked for ‘Remoth-control-BOYS’ which I only hope is ‘remote controlled toys’. I’ve squinted hard at ‘Barbed wall’, which I’ve delivered as ‘Barbie Doll’. And ‘No more pants!’ Gosh! Also  I’ve given a girl who wanted a ‘Crap dress’ – pretty pink crepe dress. I’ve carried puppies for those who asked for ‘poppies’, ‘pepsis’ and ‘paps’.  But what on earth is a  ‘Gronjicle’?
  5. A vacation. In the Bahamas. Far from snow and ice and – ya, ya, - reindeers with big butts!

Aww. Who am I kidding! I love this job! I love the kids and their awful lists. Now, just what did your 5-year-old Niks want when he asked for ‘Mama to have another booby?’

26 comments:

  1. Hehe. Did mama get a new booby? Please do update. Merry XMas to you too, and this fab post was our gift from you.

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    1. Mama is not getting any more boobies or babies, thank you.

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  2. A hilarious Xmas present from Jandy to all her readers... thank you m'dear

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    1. Thank YOU. For a whole lot of stuff. :)

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  3. A Merry Christmas to Santa's Santa Jandy. Now what is Jandy's wishlist so that we could make efforts from our side to take care of that too :)

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    1. Thanks LA, got no wishes left. Have been blessed! :)

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  4. Love the Santa :).... Wish you very very merry Xmas.. you gave us a lovely present!!!!!!!!!

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    1. So what are the many gifts that aaria got?

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  5. Merry Christmas.Great Post! But pray, pl tell me whats with you, butts and boobys?

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  6. Oh Jane...hahah Loreal...gahahaha. Loved it.

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    1. Thanks Pallavi. On behalf of Santa. ;))

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  7. it will be a while before I'll be deciphering and delivering the contents of a list..:-)
    lol @ booby..well, am not having another booby too..at least not for a loooooong while now...the temporary Tom and Jerry phase itself is too much to handle :-0

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    1. :) Wait till you get to the Dino stage!

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  8. nothing better than a good read from jandy.. dont want to miss any of these.. hugs..

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    1. awww. you so made my day, swati. thank you. have been sick for 2 days and this brightened me up lots!

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  9. GPS? haha..thats perfect..u need it badly :))

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    1. Lost your way to his place, did he?

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  10. J kidding right? love your writing :) I had to go back to your title to understand what I was reading :P

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    1. Hey Swathika, kidding, kidding.... me and Santa too

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  11. Replies
    1. Rest assured I haven't got one! :)

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  12. I can imagine poor Santa having just this wishlist.. here's to another booby to whoever wants one of those :).

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  13. hey Jandy, I love the way you write...amazing.. hysterical lmao :)

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    1. Glad to be of such entertainment value :)

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