Sunday, November 27, 2011

'That' spoilt kid

I’d see that kid in the restaurant howling, rolling on the floor or putting all the sauces into the jug of water, and I’d think – Phew, what a spoilt kid that is! Can’t those parents get him into shape? That is – until Saturday. Which was a ground-breaking (and hide underground), life-changing (and crumbling), face-reddening Saturday.

I faced my first tantrum from Niks. And all over a choco lollipop that his brother got which he wanted.  And to my horror – all of a sudden, I had a 4 1/2 year old mass of pouring tears, sobs at a volume louder than the local loudspeaker’s, and a non-stop series of heart-wrenching “Mama, pleeeeease, pleeeeeease!” Aargh!

In the middle of a public space. These are the looks I got:

  1. What a hard-hearted mom. Can’t she give the kid what he wants?
  2. What a useless mom. Can’t she give him a slap?
  3. Thank God that’s not my kid!
  4. Should I call the child services? Is she kidnapping that kid?

A kind looking lady came up with a wrapped toffee as a peace offering to Niks. He howled louder, while I barked at her to back off.

Finally, like a little cloud, he exhausted his water supplies. The tear ducts ran dry. Red-nosed, he ended his hunger strike, and vehement demands, and went back to eating what he had been given, and in a minute or 2, forgot all about it, and began to laugh uproariously at some joke the other kids cracked!

Sigh! If only all hunger strikes could end so amicably!

Learning : Niks may or may not have learnt his lesson. But I have learnt mine. ‘That’ spoilt kid? People in glass houses should never throw stones. In fact, what are people with 4 ½ year old kids doing in the glass houses in the first place?

Friday, November 18, 2011

the baby that killed me

News articles so far I have seen about Aishwarya Rai:

-          She  dumped Vivek Oberoi and Salman Khan

-          She said Yes to the Bacchan baccha on a flight (where she opted for veg meal with tea)

-          She is pregnant

-          No, she is not pregnant

-          She can never get pregnant

-          She is suing all newspapers that said she was pregnant

-          She is pregnant

-          She is wearing kolhapuri chappals

-          She is wearing green on her baby shower

-          She is having a baby on 11.11.11

-          She is not having a baby on 11.11.11

-          She is not too posh to push. Natural birthing it is.

-          She is going into labour.

(SO AM I! I’m in pain. I’ve never been happier to see someone go into labour – and I do hope she has a short one because I so want her to get off the news!)

News articles that have been pushed to page 2 or 22 because of this:

-          World on brink of war. No more oil reserves. Petrol dried up. Temperature’s rising. Another Tsunami expected. Incurable virus spreading.

Somewhere, when I’m taking my last dying gasp of breath, Hindi-movie style, the doc will tell me, “But why didn’t you prepare yourself? Everyone else knows - About the tsunamis and wars and viruses that are now killing you!”

“Are you crazy?” I will reply. “Don’t you ever read the news?”