Thursday, February 23, 2012

Booby Trap

There are tons of examples of women going gaga (or rather googoo gaga) after parenthood, while men, we are told, stay untouched – except for growing tummy bumps in empathy with their wives.
Men are altered irrevocably by parenthood. See this:

Mother-to-be: Oh my gawd, I am turning obese. Everything on me is huge and ugly.

Father-to-be: (watching TV): No, no. You look good.

Mother-to-be: Tell me ONE way I look good now. I’m so huge!

Father-to-be: Your breasts look better now.

Mother-to-be: Can’t you think of anything else?

11 years later:

Mother: Do you realise how fast our little girl has grown?

Father: She’s not grown up at all. She’s still a kid.

Mother: She's not a kid. She’s growing breasts and all. It’s cute.

Father: She is NOT.

Mother: Not what?

Father: Not growing those... that...

Mother: Breasts? What – you can’t say breasts now? You never had a problem earlier with breasts.

Father: Don’t keep saying that word.

Mother: Oh, so what is she growing then?

Father: She is just getting a little better padded, that’s all.

Mother: Padded? Padded? Our daughter is growing up into a sofa?

Learning: As you can see, parenthood definitely alters fathers. It turns them into mothers.