Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Murphy and Me

I ran down the stairs, with the car keys, a book, a toy rubber tiger and my cell phone in my hand. Splattt ! The cell phone fell !
Murphy makes sure whatever’s most precious will fall, whatever’s breakable will break.
If I have keys, book, toy, cell phone and camera? Camera falls !
If I have keys, book, toy, cell, camera and baby ? …. ??!!

Murphy has been wedded to me for ever since I remember, having promised to stick to me in good times and (turn them to) bad – till death do us part. S is aware he has married a bigamist.

As I enter the bathroom in the morning, already very late for something important, the phone rings. It is an earth-shakingly (or bank-shakingly) even more important call from the USA.
“Hello,”(flush sound).
“No, of course, I’m free.” (tap running sound).
“Yesssshh” (while trying to brush my teeth).
“No, you are perfectly clear. Please go on.” (splash while phone falls into bucket of water, and ends call).

I get out of home, and guess who’s in the back seat ? Ole Murphy of course.
He gets me into the longest queue in the traffic jam, behind a Learner Car of a lady who gets out in the middle of the traffic to buy something from a chemist.
I inch forward in the car queue to enter the movie complex. The car before me goes through and they come and slap a PARKING FULL sign and close the gate.

If anything can go wrong, says Murphy’s First Law, it will go wrong.
Today, I have lost my IT papers (kept safe in a place too safe to remember), threw my medicines in the dustbin and the plate with leftovers in the fridge, had a power cut while I was baking a cake, and have a 3 year old down with high fever.
And while rushing home today, I got caught by a traffic cop for talking while driving. No one else in the car. I was not talking on the cell, I tell him, I was talking to Murphy, sitting invisible in my back seat.
If 99 people go wrong, you will be the 1 to get caught, says Murphy.
“Oh shut up,” I tell him.
The cop looks even angrier and doubles my fine.

Sunday, February 14, 2010

No roses on Valentine Day?

Like most girls, I used to measure how much I was loved by the number of roses, cards, chocolates I got on Val Day.
Like most guys, S doesn’t know what Valentine’s Day even is.
Me : What is Feb 14th ?
S : Tuesday.

This year, it wasn’t any different. No roses. No cards. No wishes.
This is how Val Day went :

S & I were going to the library. I was 45 minutes late. He pretended not to notice.
“I’ll just rush in, get a book, and rush out,”; I said. I spent 25 minutes there, totally forgetting about the rusharound promise. S kept Nik busy all the while, chasing him down one aisle, and up the other, picking up every book Nik pulled out, answering every question Nik asked.
Nik : ‘What you doin?’
S : Reading books.
Nik : Ok. Now, what you doin ?

S filled my car up full tank of petrol.
He paid my phone bill.
He took our 5 year old for a party to have a blast with his own pals.
He couriered a letter for me.
He sat while I had a huge filter coffee.
We both went for a walk in the evening. I changed my mind 3 times over about what to get for dinner. Even the waiter looked like he wanted to throw the naan at me.

I got home with a bad headache.
So S fed Nik.
Nik : I don’t want bread.
S : This is Naan.
Nik : I don’t want Naan.
S : This is not Naan.
Nik :I don’t want Not Naan……

In the evening, a good girl friend wished me Happy Valentine’s Day. What did S give you? She asked.

He gave me the best ever Feb 14th. And 15th. And 16th.

Learning :
It’s never measured in roses.

Thursday, February 4, 2010

Happy Birthday, Nikash

Today, my baby turns 3. Your grandmother has given you a big red car to ride around in. Dipika Mummy gave you a fabulous shirt-jeans combo. Many people will come and give you lovely gifts. And you will be thrilled, but wonder why Mama didn’t give you anything.

I'm giving you what I've got (but not my stash of chocolates hah !) :

Clouds :
Your first playschool complaint came in. Your teachers told me while all the other children sat to study, you were wandering around in your own world. I told her, So Am I. Lost in my own world. In the clouds. It’s a beautiful place to be. It’s where the dreams come out of. And life, without those dreams, is F-all !

Bump on the head : You jump off the cabinet, fall, get a bump on your head, cry, and then go jump again. I can't stop you. I have scars on my knees that I got from falling off cycles, and skates, and walls. If there’s a wall, you gotta climb it, Niks. If there’s a sofa, you gotta jump off it. Getting hurt is tons better than living scared.

An orange grape : I asked you the other day what colour the grape is. You said it’s grape-colored. Who said it should be purple? Other people? Books? Teachers? It’s your life, and don’t let anyone else tell you how to live it. (Not even me). Go ahead and be different. Stay honest. And become whatever colour grape you want to.

ok then - some chocolate : Most of all, I want to give you the promise that you are loved. So so sooooo much. And please never be afraid to love back. Go ahead and do anything you want. As long as you don't hurt anyone else. And if you hurt yourself ? There will be a bandaid and a cup of hot chocolate whenever you get home.

And yeah – I’ll try not to call you Baby any more. OK, Pup ? :)