Sunday, December 2, 2012

A mom's mind


Neel announces gleefully that he’s been selected to do a taekwondo kick on sports day and – break a tile!

‘Yippee,’ goes Niks.

‘Yipeee,’ I add, ‘I’m so so proud of you! Listen for the loudest clapping! It’ll be me!’

‘You’re not allowed to clap, Sir says. It will break our concentration,’ says Neel.

And then my mom’s mind starts ticking.... oh my god, he’s going to break his concentration. Oh my double god – he’s going to break a tile. Oh my god, times three - What if he breaks his foot? He’s already broken an arm, a finger...What kind of inconsiderates would make an 8 year old break a tile? Should I give him socks or shoes or a football boot with spikes? Oh my god, he’s going to break his whole leg! Can't they just make him kick tissue paper? Why a tile!

Now, you probably think I’m hyperventilation, unless -  you’re a mom yourself. Then you’ll know. A mom’s mind is full of landmines and danger signs that exist nowhere else on the planet. She will see lurking kidnappers among sweet-sellers outside a school. She will see child molesters on a beach. She will see a road as a place of hurtling vehichles all intent on mowing down her one child.

So, Niks was invited to a party a few days back, and (para above notwithstanding) I’m not a mom who’s yet over the edge, so I was dressing him up and dressing up his gift, when my Ma (his grandma) goes: ‘Oh my god, a party! Which floor is the house on? Will they have windows? You know how naughty Niks is! And you know how children are always falling out of windows? How come you don’t even think of these dangerous things?’

And I realise, there’s only one thing that’s more swamped with tension than a mom’s mind: It’s a grandmom’s mind!

35 comments:

  1. I can actually picture Aunty saying all this.... She needs a big hug she really loves her 2 boys..I so agree with grandparents mind so much... they come up with so many things we don't even think off..

    but sometimes I think it's ok not to fret so much otherwise neither the kids or we will enjoy anything!!!!!!!!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. :) Ira - I think my boys do a little too much of 'enjoying' - going by their broken body parts!

    ReplyDelete
  3. My son's name is Neil too! Same pinch. And he is one active brat. I confess I do think of all possible disasters that could happen but am also learning to keep my mouth shut most of the times, unless absolutely needed ;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ha! Simran! i've been biting my lip too! Now, the other one's gone and broken a tooth!

      Delete
  4. The territory of paranoia and motherhood overlap into each other..... he he....and no parent escapes its clutches....and it never ends even when the kids r grown.. oh no... its got us... but we are in good company... we hv each other and our moms .... yay!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I hope you're not sending Kiana to any parties at places with windows! :)

      Delete
    2. ha ha... surina is the female version of niks..windowless parties for her for sure..

      Delete
  5. I know I know what u mean... god these kids are born to make us tensed ;)

    ReplyDelete
  6. Ha ha .. I hear you mommy!! We are all in the same boat.. Some of us are sailing gracefully & others are barely managing to stay afloat:))
    Here's to keeping each other sane through this stormy ride!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. i love the sisterhood. makes me feel less demented!

      Delete
  7. Haha! I hear you too :) My two year old almost ate a naphthalene ball thinking it was a mint candy...But for the eagle eye of a mother nothing could have stopped him that day.Phew! That day was stressful...
    We are in my dad's place and I keep thinking that when we come here the next time, my son would be older and he will be able to reach the parapet wall and keep imagining all that might happen if he is as naughty as he is now....It feels better to know that I am not the only one ;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. A naphtalene ball! Help!!! - See, hyperventilating is justified after all

      Delete
  8. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  9. hahaha Jane, you have hit the nail on the head exactly.. only a mom is part of that secret hysterical world.. and only grandmoms (Yours sounds just like mine!) can actually voice those hysterics (in which case I don't agree with her of course ;)).

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. oh yes - I never openly agree with the grandmom - another of life's little idiosyncracies!

      Delete
  10. Ah paranoia! Thou art a constant companion! And there is a whole industry that feeds on this paranoia - gates for stairs, covers for plugs, nets......and the list goes on and on!
    And grandparents have double the experience of confronting danger (they know what we did when we were the naughty ones) - you cant really blame them, can you? I really wish I could control lip-biting & racing heart, it isn't a very nice feeling

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And the strange thing is I'm supposed to be one of those 'cool' moms. Not doing a very good job of the brand ambassadorship, am I?

      Delete
  11. And here I thought I was the only mom hyperventilating about small things (well they are never small for me)... am so glad am not the only one.

    Ruth

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Check the other posts, Ruth. There are more of us than there are of 'them' - tee hee

      Delete
  12. I can see my lovely wife Anu already in this situation as Aaliyah grows up. Nice blog. Enjoyed reading.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Would love to hear the dad's perspective, Biju.... you're not that worried then about possible risks that may never fructify?

      Delete
  13. Spot on , Jane ! A mother's mind knows no rest .

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Now I'm rested. Packed both kids off to school and letting the teachers get grey hair on my behalf!

      Delete
  14. Arrrgh..grandmom's can really undo any sanity you could have got into your hyperventilation no ?

    ReplyDelete
  15. Absolutely bang on review for the grand mother. Mothers might be little okay with level one stuff in the kids life, however granny's are the ones to bring hyperventilation to level 2. Aaah...the joys :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. level 1 and level 2 - haha - i like that!

      Delete
  16. I don't know if it's just my opinion or true in general but dads are waaay less paranoid about stuff like these...I am a perpetual worry wart when it comes to my kids & their safety, to the point of being the only mom in any play area having eyes rivet everywhere my little 3.5 year old totters around...having palpitations as Arjun misses those menacing swings as he runs!!.....other moms (seem) so relaxed, chatting about the latest goings-on and darting 'don't be sooo scared' looks at me from time to time. Ah, only moms with terrors know they have to constantly watch out for the same....!
    So Jane, you Niks, me Arjun and we are going to be busy for a loooong time for sure...sigh.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. No, Dads cannot be trusted! Tee hee. Came home once to find the boys in the kitchen climbed up on the shelf, with everything scattered aroudn, and the Dad watching football on TV

      Delete
  17. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Oye...something missing here....

    ReplyDelete
  19. hahahahahha lovely one Jandy, "Can't they just make him kick tissue paper? Why a tile!" brilliant, I love your sense of humor. You are gifted and I am so glad to read your wonderful posts.

    ReplyDelete