6 years ago, I opened an anniversary gift from Shilpa, to find a poisonously-pink scented candle, with a huge LOVE carved into it. I grimaced in pain, put on my dark glasses and hid it on the top shelf (don’t deny you have one) – to give the gift you’re never going to use – to someone else who’s never going to use it.
When Riyah, an arty-party-pink-candle person insisted I come for her kitty party, I gave her the LOVE candle as a sign of protest. (She’s been giving me sly smiles ever since). Riyah then gave it to her boyfriend as a sign of their eternal love. He left her next month, and gave it to his new girlfriend Alia, as a sign of their eternal love. Alia put it on her grand-aunt’s grave, hoping they’d bury it too.
But the priest took a liking to it and took it back. He gave it to an Australian called Barry for a reason no one knows (or dares guess at). Barry took it back to Australia and gave it to Sam as a sign of Indian Tribal Art. Sam flung it out of his back window. Vanessa D’Cruz, who was Sam’s neighbour, found it flying at her while she was de-worming her plants, and saw it as a sign from God. She took it back to Goa on her next trip back to India, and gave it to Sr. Nobilia as a sign of Australian Tribal Art.
Sr. Nobilia put it on the altar, and Cindy stole it (this part of the story is not proven, since Cindy denies it). But Cindy, who wanted to make it in Bollywood, gave it to Kareena Kapoor’s make-up assistant who was doing a shoot in Goa. Who gave it to his wife’s younger sister, Meera, as a sign of his love. Meera hated him and the candle. She left it in a fish market.
OK, so here the story got lost… but last week, I met Tanya, whose hair I once put chewing gum on. Tanya tells me all’s forgiven, and she’s taken days to make me something special. It smells of fish and graveyards. And there it is…in all its pinkness - the LOVE candle.
Learning : Please don’t send me candles. Please don’t send me invites to kitty parties. Please don’t send me junk mails. And please do send this junk mail pink candle story to atleast 43,118 people you know immediately, and wait for a miracle to happen tomorrow