I’m not fat, and definitely not fit. Somewhere in between...fet?
See – being Fet is gonna be the latest craze, and remember you heard it first from ME.
1. Fet is looking at this skinny girl in skinny jeans, with a skinny IQ walking past, and sucking in your belly – and then letting it out with a whooooooosh, that almost blows her away like a leaf – sorry, skinny leaf. 25 points !!!
2. Fet is promising to exercise everyday. Before I can swim, I need to exercise to wear that swimsuit. Before I can do yoga, I need to buy a mat. Before I can go for a walk, I need to pull my jogging shoes out of mothballs. So drive around instead… it’s a lot of stress – which in turn, burns calories. 18 points !!!
3. Fet is getting your lingo right. You have child-bearing hips (not called a big butt) - 20 points. Delicious curves (not bulges) that drive men in Cosmo crazy – 25 points. You have muscles (not called fat arms) (all the better to smack them with, if they’re looking at Ms Skinny). 142 points !!!
Scoring : Now add up all your points. If you’re over 3 points, you’re very Fet - go treat yourself to a hot chocolate fudge. If you’re over 4 points, you’re a Fetness guru - buy yourself a pair of jogging shoes and put them into mothballs.