I’m not fat, and definitely not fit. Somewhere in between...fet?
See – being Fet is gonna be the latest craze, and remember you heard it first from ME.
1. Fet is looking at this skinny girl in skinny jeans, with a skinny IQ walking past, and sucking in your belly – and then letting it out with a whooooooosh, that almost blows her away like a leaf – sorry, skinny leaf. 25 points !!!
2. Fet is promising to exercise everyday. Before I can swim, I need to exercise to wear that swimsuit. Before I can do yoga, I need to buy a mat. Before I can go for a walk, I need to pull my jogging shoes out of mothballs. So drive around instead… it’s a lot of stress – which in turn, burns calories. 18 points !!!
3. Fet is getting your lingo right. You have child-bearing hips (not called a big butt) - 20 points. Delicious curves (not bulges) that drive men in Cosmo crazy – 25 points. You have muscles (not called fat arms) (all the better to smack them with, if they’re looking at Ms Skinny). 142 points !!!
Scoring : Now add up all your points. If you’re over 3 points, you’re very Fet - go treat yourself to a hot chocolate fudge. If you’re over 4 points, you’re a Fetness guru - buy yourself a pair of jogging shoes and put them into mothballs.
JANE KIDDING. my life as a pretty (bad) mom, worse manager and good survivor, and how to find everything hysterical (strictly in hindsight).
Boy oh boy - that makes me feel tonnes better already. Got to go gorge on a bar of choc - such hard work - how many points do I get?
ReplyDeleteI'm FET too ; and thanks for making me feel good about my shape. Write a longer quiz next time?
ReplyDeleteYou Genius you!!!! Exactly what i needed to hear:)
ReplyDeleteThanks for pointing me to this blog, Archana.
ReplyDeleteJandy (that your real name?) - you're HILARIOUS!!!! Love your blog. I am only allowed to post as anonymous (something's messed up with the menu here). So here's my full info.
--Deepa Ramani (Austin, TX).
thanks deepa... it's all coming straight from the heart / (hips). And you others - if you're feeling good, do something about it - buy me a chocolate.
ReplyDeletejane! bingo! again!
ReplyDeletea fat amount of love from fet( haha, who am i bluffing?!) mala
ure blogs not taking anything but anonymous..
I think I qualify for Fet Messiah! And the more we talk about it, the more calories we roast. To a delicious caramel glaze, drizzled over with cheese sauce, stuffed with .... oh! Mom-myyyy... now see what you've started! Arch de Rang, you're a very wicked lady!
ReplyDeleteAch! On top of being f...hmmm, fet, I'm a flitter-brain too! I'm sorry, I meant Jandy. (I was reading Arch at a neighbouring tag, hence the mix-up)
ReplyDeletehi sunita - don't know you but welcome to the club of fet, flitter-brained females... we Rock ! :-)
ReplyDeleteMade very healthy Paella for dinner today, and opened a bottle of sherry, as it needed 3 tbsp of the stuff. Had to take care of the rest of it the best I could. I'm all for fetnesh.
ReplyDelete