Dinner announcement in my house is met with :
Neel : What’s for dinner?
Me : Well, there is….
Neel : Why ?
Nik : I doesn’t like it.
I am quite aware that I need to start dinner etiquette early in life, and am very impressed by pictures of kids sitting at table, elbows off the table, with greens on their plate. Greens !
The problems with this picture :
1) Anything green is pulled out of the mouth along with more green slime from the inner depths of the mouth cavity, and flung at the other kid’s plate.
2) Elbows are never off the table. In fact, sometimes the whole shoulder too, and a chin, and a knee follow.
3) The table itself is a miracle. I started out with all kids strapped in high chairs, at the table. As soon as they could crawl, they crawled out of the strapped high chair, displaying dexterity that Houdini would give his left elbow for.
So dinner now consists of me chasing Niks around the house, under the sofa, with a piece of roti in my hand, threatening him with fire and brimstone forever and ever. While Neel sits with his plate in front of him and whines : Why can’t I run around and eat too?
If all else fails, I turn to my always-present, always-helpful baby-sitter.
So while Ben 10’s many-legged alien spouts green goo at some unfortunate, the little eyes watching open wide, and the little mouth opens wider, and in goes the piece of roti.
Doctors who say never feed your kids in front of TV, never said this in front of their wives.
Cos wives/ mothers all know TV is terrific for our kids. It is the source of Tom and Jerry, Vitamins and Minerals. Dora, the Explorer = a slice of carrot, Spiderman = a spoon of sprouts.