Tuesday, July 27, 2010

i failed the passport test

The newspapers blazed with ads of all the minister’s smiling mugs, proclaiming Bangalore to be the new icon for passport purposes – all computerized – smooth process – no waiting - passports in 3 days – child-friendly -no hassle to citizens. I beamed more than the ministers. Time to get the kids their passports and renew my own and my mom’s. With NO hassle.

Now, reading between the lines, this is what it really means:

1) New scheme : You are our latest guinea pig! The post office staff supposed to helpfully supply these services looked blank, said they didn’t know what I was talking about and made me buy stamps for standing in the queue.
2) 3 days : It takes over 3 weeks to get an appointment to even apply for a passport under this scheme online – and wade through crashing systems. If you are one of the poor paupers who needs to go stand in the queue, please go the previous night, with idlis wrapped in newspaper, for the passport office to open the next morning.
3) No waiting : We waited for 4 hours, along with others who had brought tons of tiffin and tons of relatives.. Finally had to whine my way in, saying I have 2 sick kids, 1 handicapped mother (she walks with a stick – ha!) and got a chance – after the guy took pity on S, who looked like a normal person stuck in this circus.
4) Child-friendly : Niks,(who unlike the other toddlers who sat and sucked their mom’s sari pallus for 4 hours straight) ran away and got lost when his turn came, then fell onto the camera, and got the fingerprinting stamp ink on to everything else in sight, and insisted on giving the data entry operator a star on her official document. Neel sat and complained to an elderly lady on the other side, about the weight on his 6-year-old shoulders of monthly tests at school.
5) Smooth process : We needed to go through 4 separate levels, some desks manned by grim TCS hires, and some manned by boiled potatoes.
6) No hassle to the citizens : Hahaha – excuse me, while I choke over the coffee that I had to fight off 15 people in the queue in the ‘smooth process’ for!

Did I mention they also fingerprint you and take your photograph on the spot? So, I had done my hair, and put on an apricot shade of lipstick. 4 hours later, when the pic was finally clicked, I ended up looking like Ozzie the Orangutan on a bad hair day.

17 comments:

  1. that saves me from going to get a passport now :D i will wait till this 'new scheme' become old...and then go with full preparation :) thanks for the forewarning.

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  2. Ok well you have no sympathy from me :P If only you had listened to me earlier you would not have had to do all this...And can't say you will learn from this he he...

    Only thing I will say CONGRATS at least you did it.....

    And nothing about any process ... no matter how smooth they say it is.... NEVER IS!!

    I know you will fume when you read this but I had to say it.

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  3. heeheee it'll all be worth it when u finally have that all-impportant blue book in your hands and can fly free as a bird - now it only involves paying extravagant sums to be that free bird on an airplane ;)

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  4. there is nothing as a ''smooth process'' except baby pooh!

    -----and so the adventure begins when you decide to apply for / renew a passport.

    so when do we see you here in the beautiful Pacific NW?

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  5. Priti I think we need to warn her on how easy its to get visa too!!!!!!!!!!! he he

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  6. Hey Jane
    Enjoyed your blog. Have bookmarked it.

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  7. @ ira - went to 11 countries which was easier than getting this 1 passport form done sitting in ONE centre in one city

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  8. @ suma - been a long time since you saw baby pooh - it sometimes has full corn in it - or capsicum ! :P guess nothing in life's smooth, huh?

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  9. huh? j, when the baby is on those pasty mushed baby food, i mean ;)

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  10. It's just you Jane. I got my passport in 6 days flat,
    and after refusing to bribe the cops who do an address proof check.

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  11. true vinoo - trouble does seem to follow me around. remember the Calamity Jane from the Wild West? was what i was called as a little girl.

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  12. Hi jane, Your blog was hilarious!So did you finally get your passports??????? We have planned a trip to Goa 21 September to 7 October just to keep ourselves free to host you this Christmas!!!!Hope to see you all here then!

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  13. Greg, Australia is many blog posts away. but will surely make it there - dragging my caravan behind!

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  14. Is there a Sup version of this story?
    ;-)

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  15. vinoo - S stood thru the 4 hour cacohpony with his standard benign expression on his face (one of my friends calls him Smiling Buddha)

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  16. haha. great one. pls do one on the chennai airport and also the CWG

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  17. heheheh nice one... Luckly for me I got mine in 4days.... I hoped for the worst but it was smooth.

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