Thursday, July 2, 2009

Stress busters busted

So my doc tells me I’m stressed. (I have paid her a hugely stressful amount to tell me this). This is my list of how to bust the stress.

1) Breathe in and out.
Situation : Annoying person cuts in front of you in queue.
Action : Breathe in and OUT into his face. (preferably after eating garlic). Annoying person either passes out, or starts a fight, in which case, you are justified to smash him to pulp.

2) Yoga
This is very relaxing I am told, but it didn’t work for me, for the following reason.
Yoga involves twisting your body into impossible angles, while thinking all the time of whether you have switched off the gas, or even worse, whether you will ever be able to untwist your body – and if not, how will you drive your car home?

3) Make me-time

This is the King of Wishful Thinking. The last time I wanted to go with my girlfriends for a drink, this is how it went. I had to iron my white shirt last minute, feed niks in a hurry, who then threw up over the white shirt, iron the black dress last minute, the dog ran away with it straight after, iron my red shirt last minute and find a huge iron burn in it, because I went to answer the phone,(which was S saying he’s stuck in traffic), then wear something un-ironed, which made my butt look too big, and not have time with all the ironing to wash out my hair which I had oiled with egg yolk, and have my 5 year old choose that moment to try out cross-dressing and break the high heel I had kept out to wear, and finally call my friends to say I can’t make it, because I want to use my “me time” to sit and howl.

4) Organise your life.
Ha HAAA. I am the kind who keeps all my bills in a shoebox. I am the kind who never pays these bills till they are overdue and my various phone and power connections have been cut off. I am the kind who gets pre-traumatic disorder when tax returns, insurance policies and other various things with drunk, dancing numbers – have to be organised. I wish we could go back to the barter system. You give me a bar of chocolate, and I will give you a branded black dress that my dog ran away with, and did undescribable acts with.

Learning :
I am never gonna be stress-free, am I? But you are welcome to try and help me – by sending me your proven stress-busting tips. I promise to keep them carefully in my shoebox.


  1. I will share you my stress busting tip. I read your column :-)

  2. Same goes with me Jane. I read your blog and it becomes a stress buster. But really, try cooking. Archana's Kitchen can help.

  3. Try the blogging equivalent of going on a hilltop and shouting your lungs out. It involves a big-rant post in ALL CAPS.

  4. So glad that i landed here thru' facebook, and boy do i need to tell u, how much i loved to be here.I read almost all ur posts back to back,and felt refreshed.Promise me you would write everyday, and i promise u i wont feel depressed or blue ,any single day of my life.
    Keep rocking

  5. Hi Jane,
    very nicely written and funny too.My stress buster is a cup of tea sans husband and kids or talking over the phone with my sis or friends.

  6. I have a friend who finds solace in during our MBA before every big exam she would sit down with a pile of clothes.. and if that was not enuf wd go all over the hostel to offer her ironing services..guess it worked for her as she got gr8 grades :-)

  7. a spoonful of nutella works...every time :)

  8. thanks all. alka - glad my rantings made your day. you made mine.
    archana - cooking for me is the equivalent of turning the house upside down and giving everyone around blood pressure. shilpi - haha - ironing !!! really? should send her my above mentioned clothes, huh?

  9. Get a lil obsessive u idiot & start dusting the house,arranging the cushions , vaccum the carpet & then call me for dinner........

  10. my friends with older kids will probably give me knowing smiles when I say this (coz I'm totally new at this, my baby is only 6 months old!)- but my stress just disappears when Keya smiles. It's a different story that she might have created the stress point in the first place!!!!
    I guess at some level we actually like stress - if we didnt have any, we'd create it!

  11. fill up a bowl of pure vanilla the brim, ok to have it overflow a bit....a glass of good ol wine to go with it...and then plop down somewhere comfy and ready Jandy's daily musings:) perfect stress buster if ever one was invented...

  12. The best stress buster for you will be... lets see..

    sit on the couch with your computer chatting with your best friend (guess who!!!!!!!!!!) then while doing that have a bar or 2 of chocolate... and a bag full of chips... but wait stress is back as you put your comp off because you realise what all you ate so will put on weight STRESS... so you go for a walk... too much stress fighting the traffic and bad roads .. so to DE-STRESS go have filter coffee :) ..
    but then why just coffee some idli and upma... Hang on its STRESS again for all that eating .. and it goes on..

    Is there a way to de stress you!!!!!!!! ha ha it'a a big question that will remain unanswered.. but one thing I will say again.. you are happy as you are
    (even with your stress!!!!)and what would life be without the adventures of stressing and de-stressing... BORING and who needs that...the top example shows how amusing your life is and so much fun.... and anyway by the time you hit the bed at night stress or no stress you are dead tired to think.. let tomorrow be just another day of stress!!!!

    PS some warning: Don't advise Jane to cook....seriously!!!!!!!!

  13. 1 sip of wine, and she's gone, Debjani.

  14. Jane, then thats the one. One sip of wine and Gone! You need that now :).

  15. my mantra is why worry about things that are not in your control, if im busy doing something I let the phone ring and check it 5 mins later, if I see no message saying (call me back urgent) , it meant it was not important.