Back when I was in an office, which back then, had a coffee machine, I overheard this conversation :
She : “ I can’t stand her ! She’s always leading him on…”
Another She : “Yes. And having an affair on the side, I’d like to slap her.”
I sidled in to “lend a ear” a bit more – only to find out they were in a sympathetic cluck-a-cluck over the latest soap opera.
My mom once watched a soap for many moons and sunny afternoons. Everyone basically married every one else in turn, so that there were more connections than the Indian Railways. So Brick, for example, marries Stone (yes, they really have names like that), who is his Dad Sand’s ex-wife. Their kid (Cement?) therefore is his son and his brother – or is it uncle?
“Aaah,” says my anguished Mom, who follows these connections like a bloodhound. “That is SandStorm – the adopted ex-kid who pretended to die in the last episode. You never keep track.”
I walk into S watching his football. Fairly simple. He cheers for Arsenal, who play in red, whose main striker is this brilliant guy called Thierry (Yes, he could apply for my mom’s serial with a name like that). So I walk in and see Thierry in red kick a fabulous goal. Yay Yay, I cheer, Way to go, Arsenal.
S is not amused. Apparently Thierry has joined Barca ages back, and Arsenal, for my kind information, lost their last match. “You never keep track.”
So, I hardly ever watch TV. So what?
But how tough is it to catch on to a kiddie program, I think, as I watch Neel watching the antics of a cartoon dog on screen. How many cartoon dogs are there? Scoobie Doo, Pluto, Spike? I carefully ask : “Hey, Neel, what’s this dog’s name then?”
“Mama, that is NOT a dog. It’s a Velico-Vanquerer-Rapto-Prex. Mamaaa, you never keep track.”
Learning : You can tell who is Boss at home by whose hands have the remote control of the TV. So I should get my hands on it, and fling it out of the window. And to the vociferous objections I will get, what can I say? “Don’t you know what day it is today, you guys? Today is My Bad Hair-Badder Mood Day. Don’t you ever keep track?”