Thursday, March 17, 2011

M.A. Tech

If you think I’m tech-challenged, blame it on my maternal genes. My Ma and Technology are definitely not twins separated at birth.

She talks back to the Voice Recordings from the bank. I overheard her telling the phone voice the other day, “I already pressed ‘2’ – I pressed it 4 times already.”

She once called me in office in the middle of an important meeting to ask me, “The second orange light on the washing machine is now beeping. What should I do?”

She is almost single-handedly responsible for keeping the Indian Postal Service alive – pain-stakingly buying cards and writing long-hand letters and buying stamps etc… and takes it a personal insult if someone sends her an e-card in reply. I’ve offered to write her emails, if she dictates them. Ever-willing to give it a try, she starts her emails with ‘I hope this reaches you on time, and finds you in the best of health.’ (Ma, I object, this will reach instantly, and he was in the best of health when he sent you an email 5 minutes ago, to which you are replying. His health couldn’t have deteriorated rapidly in the last 5 minutes.)

She whacks her DVD player when a DVD gets stuck while playing, and IT STARTS AGAIN.

On second thoughts, she doesn’t really need technology, see. She has an in-built memory chip which remembers the birthdays of all her cousins, nieces and nephews, down to the time they were born (making it impossible for anyone to fake their age). She gets the stains off the kid’s clothes when the washing machine has thrown up its hands in surrender. She bakes better cakes than any auto-timer microwave magic could dream of. And she’s got some patented copyright to make her grandkids feel that they’re the smartest guys around. Now, that’s something that technology hasn’t invented yet.

Ma 1, Tech 0.

19 comments:

  1. Oh! That is so sweet! Aunty is one of a precious club.

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  2. Ma 1 Jane 0. Remember you looking for the SEND key on your laptop?

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  3. vinoo - i did NOT ever never!

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  4. that is lovely!

    Grandmas rock and rule!!
    They are THE BEST!!!

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  5. true, sms! they rock! though we'd never let them know, right?

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  6. Spot on Jandy - our moms have that magic in them..... wonder if our kids will ever feel that way abt us or is what they say abt qualities skipping generations true?? Hugs to aunty..

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  7. my kids are gonna say - my mom was born in the last century... technically true! ;)

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  8. blame it on MA - apparently, being technically challenged is genetic ;)

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  9. The last few decades of the last century rocked - thanks to the likes of us hhheeehheee - nothing stops us from thinking!! hhaaahhaaaa

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  10. I love the fact that she is responsible for keeping the postal system alive LOL.

    I love the way you write. I signed-in as your follower so I can get updated on your latest posts.

    If you have time, you can check out my blog too, www.preciseknowledge.blogspot.com and you can follow me too. That way, we can read and appreciate each other’s work.

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  11. thanks Gen Gatch! I've just gone visiting. How I love to find someone in this age who actually knows to speak English :) Will be excruciatingly careful about my own in the coming blogs :)

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  12. Jane for sure will score 0 i agree with Vinoo let me not tell many stories of how you n technology !!!!!!!!!!!!!

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  13. Hi Jane. Love the way you write. Simple. Hassle free. Hilarious. and Powerful.
    :) it's fun reading your blog.
    PS- Ever thought about writing a novel (not that i'm a publisher)? I'm sure as hell you have a knack for it.

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  14. gracias, sonal. i am on my way to being a published author, yup. by harper collins. sometime before i reach my eighties by the look of it.

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  15. haha! (you are funny!)
    i don't think it'll be good for them to hold back one such writer. in any case, you have an assured buyer and promoter in me.
    I'm nail-biting curious about the storyline, but i'll wait for it to get published. it'll be worth it, i'm sure.

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  16. Jane! I love your writing. Witty, smart and sassy. Looks like you will have one more added to your BF (Blogs Followers) list...:-)

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  17. thanks, shalini. i'm getting lazier though, i warn you. the musings are either not happening daily, or they're not being written down. :P

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