Saturday, February 26, 2011

Designer genes

Don’t you wish you were born now? Of course, the advantage is that you’d have young pink baby skin, but there’s more to this. You could choose your genes. No kidding. At least, your parents could. The news is going gaga about people who pick out cancer-free babies and boy babies and babies with blue eyes.

If I was born now, I am writing it down in my will (or blog at least) that I demand these genes:

- I want red hair. And I don’t care if Loreal makes it in a bottle. I want it to grow out of my scalp. Because research proves that red haired women make the most money.

- I want to be born with an hourglass figure. At least, I don’t want to be born that way, cos I’d make for a funny looking baby, but to eventually grow up that way. So that no matter how much I eat, or how many babies I produce, my waist snaps back automatically to the circumference of an orange.

- I want to be a child genius, so that I don’t have to waste those years studying, and can immediately play the cello in the London Philharmonic, or become the CEO of IBM, or something that’s equally cool.

- I want them to control my genes so I never have the flu, or dust allergies – and have bones that will never break, and teeth that will never get cavities.

This is getting kinda boring. Designer genes will mean I’d never have an off day from school for being sick, and get pampered by ma’s soup and cheese at home. It means I’ll never have to make the embarrassing mistakes I always do, overeat, grow old with the someone I love, forget my TPin all the time, boil with road rage, bring my kids up the wrong wrong way, or crib about everything that’s going wrong – on this blog.

I think I’ll stick with the genes I have. I’ve suddenly realized they’re designed just fine – not to give me the perfect life, but to have the most fun, while living it.


  1. Very true. I agree with you. Though you can say it much better than me. Sometimes we need to understand that the person inside is more important than just pink skin and red hair.

  2. The perfect janey post :)
    You are just too perfect to be messed up with ;)
    Hard to improve perfection u see :D

  3. You have impreceptible comic timing. We are all eagerly awaiting your book.

  4. Hey _ i'm so happy you are saying no to those perfect genes... what would i do without this blog?? And we would all be so insipid without our special quirky "i'm"perfections ;)

  5. designer genes or designer jeans----
    those imperfections and quirkiness make life interesting and rich....
    designer genes would be BORING!!

  6. I agree with all your friends, Jane... perfect is so boring and a predictable life is no fun either. Enjoyed reading your post.

  7. Insightful blog. Let's not forget that once designer genes become the norm, the less "fashionable" they will become. In your example, if every second woman's a redhead, their uniqueness will decline and then parents will have to switch to the brunette gene!

  8. thanks, sulekha. and sanjay - i guess that's the way the gene-rations are going to go.

  9. Enjoyed the post - designer genes will result in a designer blog - predictable and bo-ring!Better to wear designer jeans and leave the genes to the real-and sometimes quirky - designer - God!

  10. Good Janetic choice