Got a scary email today saying microwave food is dangerous – free radicals – cancer of the intestines.
Read yesterday, they’ve finally proved that cell phone usage will end up in cancer of the brain.
Using re-cooked oil will give me cancer of whatever body part is left.
The pollution levels in the city are so high that over half of the population will get asthma or other respiratory illnesses.
The underground water has sewage seeping into it which will cause gastro-enteritis or skin problems – or probably both.
Processed food out of cans causes damage of the nervous system.
Cooked food kills all nutrients, and will leave me with iron and calcium and mineral deficiencies.
Raw food will give me salmonella poisoning.
If I stay home and watch TV –I’ll get obese – and slowly blind.
If I get out and drive in the traffic – it’s road rage and stress syndromes.
Walking in the sun causes skin cancer.
Jogging gives me heel and knee tendonitis.
I think the general prediction here is no matter what I do –
if I carry on living, I’m going to die.
So let’s go sit out in the cancerous sunshine, inhale some lung-polluting air, open the bag of carcinogenic chips and wash it down with some liver-damaging vodka.
Who wants to join me ?