I stubbed my toe on the $#** door jamb that is supposed to keep the door open.
“damn”, I shout, then seeing Nik (2 ½ years old) - “damnnadiffadoooodidoodilaaaa ! “
We all have a favourite word – the one that comes out first – when that son-of-a-female-dog driver cuts in front of you, or the lice-infested, onion-smelling boss calls you in on a Sunday to office. Or when the damnadooodillaaa door jamb stubs your toe…
I call them dwords (door jamb words), and they tell me more about people than anything else does. Here are some of the results of my life-long research. Feel free to add your own.
“AIIYYO” = “All people listen, I am a proud southie and I don’t care what You think, so sod Off !”
“Oh God” = I don’t think there’s a God, if this is happening to me.
“Awesome” = I have a limited American vocabulary of words like “like”
“Yeeeeoooow “ = I’ve been watching too much Cartoon Network
“Shit” = i was born before MTV
“Fcuk” = I am so fcucking uber-cool that I need to use fcuk 5 times in a sentence before I brush my teeth
“Aaaaaah “ = I am a normal human being in a normal reaction of pain… (which is why you never hear anyone saying this).
While writing this, Nik, who has dropped a monster truck on his own toe screams “Mamaaa ! “ – that’s his dword – and it means “Mama, drop whatever you’re doing (on your toe) and get your butt here at once to make the pain go away! “
“HaHa” says S, which is his dword, since he finds almost everything funny. Also called Laughing Buddha by a wise friend, he is an unflappable person who finds a furious screaming Nik, who immediately stops crying when a furious me arrives, and then immediately drops the same monster truck on his same toe – funny !!!
And suddenly I feel a laugh coming on myself… hehe haha.
“HaHa” – yup – that’s a great positive dword – I will use it from now on till forever.
Nik looks at both his parents cracking up and drops the monster truck – on MY door-jambed toe !