Monday, January 2, 2012

Murphy on Holiday


We decided to leave Ole Murphy behind, locked firmly at home while we had that ‘perfect holiday’. Did too. Almost.

Here, for a change, is what did NOT go wrong.

1.       Did a train journey to Goa. Air-conditioned 4-seater to ourselves. Kids did not fall off the train. Niks did however, fall off his lower berth SEVEN times in the night, which meant, I had to wake up SEVEN times in as many hours – and shove him back on.

2.       The hired car guy ditched us when we reached Goa, asking for double the hire rate. Met my darling college buddy, who I wanted to spend hours talking to. She spent hours talking – to every car operator she could think of – begging, pleading – and finally getting us the car. She did not talk to me, and I don’t know if she ever will again.

3.       We spent every day at the beach. With cousins. The kids turned purple and peeling – and would not get out of the water or sun. The bottle of sun-screen lotion got lost on Day 1, and the un-sun-screened kids had a blast.

4.       All the kids got tattoos. Made of HAIR DYE! Niks is gonna have a purple scorpion running  in rivulets down his forearm – and Neel is gonna have to wear a jacket to school for the next month to keep his hidden from his teacher. Niks, back in Bangalore, bared his arm to a little girl on his school bus, and I could hear her scream. (Desired response achieved. Niks sat back, pleased!)

5.       We ate. We walked. We ate. We shopped. We ate. We drank. We ate. We partied. We ate. We ate. We ate. No one got sick. We put on a total of 24 kilos – 4 adults. We tried to walk it off – only till the next bar, where we ate some more.

6.       I bought tons of flimsy shell trinkets, and sarongs in scraps of cloth, that were perfect for the beach. And that I will never ever wear again. I ate, to make up for the guilt.

7.       We met family and friends in our aunt’s beautiful old house. We ate. The kids made tunnels through the hedge, and collected sticks and bruises. Their clothes turned red, their faces black.

8.       Lost the keys to the suitcase. Twice. Scratched the hired car. Puked into the sands of the Arabian sea. Sat through a Konkani mass. Got into a bar brawl. Chased a Goan pao (bread) guy on a cycle at 7 in the morning.  Fed stray dogs.

9.       What we brought home: 2 kilos of sand – sand in clothes, shoes, hair, cuffs, ears... shells, broken sandals, feni, cake, tattoos, cuts, poison ivy itch, sunburn (found the sunscreen bottle when we got home). If anyone wants to come over and share our Goa loot – you’re welcome to any of the above. P.S. The cake is over!

Was a perfect holiday. Came home to ole Murphy. Got out of our sunny holiday plane into Bangalore. It was raining and cold. The sunhats and shells got soaked.

22 comments:

  1. What an amazing holiday you had...I am having one of the same types till the next sunday :D In my version, sleep is also playing an equally important role as food...they come together in pairs. Ate and slept. :)

    And why, O why did you eat the cake :( :( now I am not getting you any sweets from anywhere!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Puja, bring sweets. I will share my poison ivy itch with you.

    ReplyDelete
  3. "Goan pao" ... Ouch that means something else.
    Poder is the right one.

    SF

    ReplyDelete
  4. SF - now, i want to know what that means.

    ReplyDelete
  5. We go to Goa and visit the beach, eat & come back...should have known, all of this can only happen to you:-)) Sounds like a "fantastic " holiday !!!

    ReplyDelete
  6. What a hilarious holiday! We never seem to have half as much fun, or half as much troubles as you do. Love your sense of humor.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Thanks Shilpi, Askh... The holidays aren't as much fun or funny, honestly, until they're over - and I realise they were a hoot! :P (During the hols, I do plenty of lid-flipping!)

    ReplyDelete
  8. Ah Jane, can we have some sand, looks like I need to hop on with you on my next trip to Goa :)

    ReplyDelete
  9. Don't know what it is with this Murphy guy. Always calls on me, on my phone that is, when I get in the bath.

    ReplyDelete
  10. And your blog is very funny! :D Thanks for your awesome comment!

    ReplyDelete
  11. I love your blog. Does it want to get together with my blog and have blog babies?

    ReplyDelete
  12. Haha, Renata. That comment is too wonderful to spoil it with a retort.

    ReplyDelete
  13. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  14. @anju/ renata - please post your blog link here so readers, who will of course never comment, can visit.

    ReplyDelete
  15. You need to exorcize Murphy. But on second thoughts, he is your muse.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Enjoyed reading your blog Jane! I also enjoy chatting with a very interesting cousin online - however that had to be put on hold till I got through your blog! So you can imagine how much more interesting your blog can be!! x

    ReplyDelete
  17. To the team at the library - I am flattered to provide an excuse. :)

    ReplyDelete
  18. Tai-Phun? TAI PHUN? really - that's the best you could come up with? :P

    ReplyDelete
  19. Thanks God Ole Murphy stayed back! GOK what would have happened had he come along! Way to go yummy-mummy - my kinda holiday. Brought back good ole memories. Absolutely loved Niks showing off his tattoo - heee heee, he is a funny'un! Has all the sand gone into a sand pit now?

    ReplyDelete
  20. An abs hilarious post mortem!!!
    Leela

    ReplyDelete
  21. Hilarious post mortem,Jane....Loved the Nik bit especially...KYA FAMILY HAI,yaar!!
    Leela

    ReplyDelete
  22. :-D
    loved your time-out in the sand, soak and sun burn, Scorpion tattoo, scintillating fun! :)

    ReplyDelete