Thursday, June 11, 2009

Niks in lock-up

High-tension drama enacted at D305 on Sunday evening, starring Nik, aged 2, and 12 panicked adults, aged – well – let’s keep that confidential, shall we?
Nik woke up from his afternoon nap and locked himself in the ONLY room in the house which has no key. This is the series of events, after that :

1. Me : Niks, open the lock
2. Nik : ok, mama… (does no such thing)
3. My mom : Nik, turn the black thing
4. Me : He doesn’t know colours
5. My mom : turn the round thing
6. Me : He doesn’t know shapes
7. My mom : You haven’t taught him ANYTHING
8. S has, all this time, been having a haircut (and probably massage and all that goes with it, at the local barber)
9. Neighbours rush in to help
10. Neenu : Nik, don’t cry
11. Me : (starting to cry)
12. My mom : I TOLD you both to get a new KEY – AGES ago !!!
13. Neighbours go to find a locksmith. It is a Sunday night and all locksmiths are at home, behind closed doors (like mine). The building handyman is called in. The security man also walks in. Basically, anyone passing by walks in.
14. Everyone : Niks, open the lock
15. Nik : ok (does no such thing)
16. My mom : I TOLD you both to get a new KEY – AGES ago !!!
17. Locksmith is brought in. He cannot open the door. He has not brought his set of spare keys.
18. Locksmith goes back to his shop to bring his spare keys.
19. My mom : I TOLD you both to get a new KEY – AGES ago !!! … (and says this another 27 times in a row)
20. S returns to see his house full of hyperventilating people, and asks : Where is Neel?
21. Neel has been taking advantage of everyone being busy and has eaten a whole slab of butter meanwhile.
22. OMIGOSH, now we’re gonna have TWO kids in trouble!!!
23. Locksmith returns with spare keys. Cannot open door. Totally breaks up my other spare key to my other door (we now have 2 doors without keys – and I HOPE no house-breaking thief type person is reading this).
24. Me : Break the @#$#* door
25. Locksmith cannot break the door. Who is this man? Is he a non-violent nun in disguise?
26. It takes 2 hours and 12 people to finally break the door.

12 adults in panic peer into the dark room inside – to see –
1 calm smiling baby playing in the dark on the bed : Hey Mama !

Learning :
Do not ever let your child lock himself in a room, which has no key, on a Sunday evening, while your husband is having a haircut, and the only locksmith on duty is a non-violent nun. The probability of these events happening together is 1 in a trizillion. But if it does happen, call me ! I’ll bring my 11 other adults to help you panic.


  1. Brilliantly funny, as usual.
    You could have convinced us that you have 2 sinfully mischeivious boys, but your earlier post (before this) showed how proud you can really be of your Neel.

  2. wow jany, thats something you went through. You did not call me :( Was it the sunday before the monday we were supposed to meet? Jane. relax, its a door that can be sawed, next time i will send my children who have begun sawing their toy cupboard! Their newly made cupboard

  3. 1. Retain key when new
    2. Take a fresh slab of butter
    3. Make impression of key on slab
    4. Contact ultraviolent locksmith.
    5. Get a duplicate made.
    6. Consume remaining butter.
    7. Hide duplicate key OUTSIDE corresponding room.
    8. Compliment husband on good haircut.

  4. hahahahahah....i locked my cats into the only bedroom in my house without a key. and it was sunday evening and i hadn't taught them any shapes or colours either ;p

  5. I think I was better off in my blue cupboard while the whole house was in turmoil at the age of 7, you shud have asked me for some ideas....hehehehe....but we had this man we used to call him bunch of keys....(neighbour) he used to carry around all his keys around the neck.....dont do that janie

  6. love mr okie-dokie nik and the nun in a locksmith's gear......:) Aunty sounds like she hasnt changed a bit...hah:) BTW what happened to neel post the butter?

  7. That's a lovely little drama to unfold on a Sunday night. Saves you the bother of going to the movies.

    We used to have one additional element in the mix. We'd have some neighbour's or watchman's kid around Neel's age being persuaded to get in through the skylight or through between the blades of the toilet exhaust (while it is not spinning, I'd like to clarify to some of the sick minds out there), and get thus get into the room and open the door.

    Sometimes, as in your case, when the flat is higher than the 1st floor when said child can't be manouvered into said skylight or ventilator easily, you get the more adventurous neighbours suggesting rappeling down the side of the building, said 5 year old in hand to be trussed through aforementioned openings.

    A good time is had by all, and they retire reluctantly and with great disappointment when the situation is resolved.

  8. I know the people involved in this post.... my comments are

    Nik: lived up to his Cool Dude image

    Neel: Knows how to make the best of any situation and best of all keep himself happy

    Soup: Happy in his land.. would have been better if he was out having beer!!!! (dont kill me for it)

    Aunty: Still trying to knock sense into her daughter after so many years

    Jane: What can I say!!!!!!!! it would need pages for me to write about her and her reaction through this...but I am sure she was busy trying to kick the door open .. and imagining she was a super woman to do so ... and run in hug and rescue Nik ;P

  9. Phew!!!!!!!!!What drama!!?! And the hero is definitely Nik! Have learnt an important lesson for my lil one - give husband haircut at home! :)

  10. Ira, I agree with you completely here. I heard the story first hand over the phone from aunty - Jane, you have left out some of the juicier things your mom had to say abt you (and S too) ;)

  11. I hate to laugh at you in difficult times but...HAHAHAHA!

  12. I hate to laugh at you in hard times but...HAHAHAHA

  13. Brings back memories from my childhood. My parents had gone out & left my sister's & me with our dog at home. While they were out we decided to go out onto our balcony & look at the world from our 3rd floor flat. The dog was still in the house & as luck would have it a strong gust of wind shut the door & the latch (which was conviniently at the bottom of the door) dropped into its slot in the floor. Now the 3 of us were outside the house & the dog was inside. Few hrs later & very cold & tired we huddled together & covered ourselves with the dog's blanket & fell asleep.

    When our parents came back & did not see us they started to call out our names. They thought we were playing some sort of hide & seek game - the dog was frantic & kept scratching the balcony door & howling at my parents. But we were so cozy in our dog blanket we slept on. Finally my mum had enough with the dog's howling & decided to put him out of the house to get him away from her & my dad was knocking on neighbour's doors to see if his daughter's had been kidnapped. My mum found us fast asleep under the dog's blanket when she tried to put him out on the balcony & she had to hug the poor chap first.

    The first thing my dad did was to get his tools out & knock out all the floor latches!!

  14. have you got the new keys now???

    pls get the swipe card thing what they use in IT companies to enter and exist, i think they work best:-) get them for all the doors and keep the master swipe-card with you :-)

  15. Who is this man? Is he a non-violent nun in disguise? hahhahahahaha too good

  16. thanks all. everything is hysterical in hindsight!