I wanna sue somebody

We’ve all read of this woman who dropped hot coffee that SHE ordered and SHE was carrying, on HERSELF – and sued the café for it being too hot ! And WON a million dollars!
That’s America !
I am making a list of who to sue, cos I could sure use a million dollars.

When Neel was 4, he fell in a Mickey Mouse birthday party, and fractured his arm.
Ban parties ! Sue Walt Disney ? Sue the floor for being too hard?
When Neel was 5, the wind blew the door shut and his finger got cut off.
Sue the South West Monsoon? Ban all doors ?

Not working the way I wanted it to. Can’t see those million dollars anywhere near.

I busted my lip. Tried to make up an exciting story for it, but the truth is I slipped on a toy car at home. (my house looks like a Bangalore traffic jam with toy cars strewn in every corner).
Sue the Hot Wheels car makers for making cars with 4 wheels?

The house is child-safe. All plug points are covered in cello tape. The stairs have a latched gate (That even the dog has learnt to open). Knives, scissors and sharp stuff is shut away.
Niks threw a spoon at Neel and hit him on the head. Neel whacked Niks with a broom and nearly dislocated his neck.
Ban brooms? Sue the makers of spoons and plates?
Niks tumbled over his own shoes and fell on his nose.
SUE THE WORLD for its unfair law of gravity !!!

Learning : Nah ! I think there’s nothing wrong with the way the world and its manufacturers of stuff work. It’s our kids. Let’s face it.
Even better, let’s sue them ! That’s my only million dollar idea so far. Sue them for being so totally accident-prone and kid-like, and hope that they will become billionaire rock stars real fast, and therefore be able to shell out a million dollar lawsuit to their poor ole mom n dad.