I saw this article in the paper where they have made fuel to run a car out of leftover chocolate. A WHOPPING LIE !
Hint 1 : Left over chocolate. LEFT OVER ? who in their right minds would leave over chocolate? I even lick up the piece that falls under the bed.
Hint 2 : There was a woman model sitting in the car. Hah ! She would have drunk up the chocolate fuel for sure.
Same reason I don’t go for chocolate massages. Would not want to be caught licking myself all over !
Anyway, women love chocolate and it is NOT OUR fault ! Something to do with our hormones or genes or something. Guys prefer vanilla icecream. Ugh ! They must have craters full of that on Mars!
If I catch S sneaking into my chocolate stash, I take it as a personal call to Battle !
Men, listen to this. If you have forgotten to wish her on her birthday, (despite my earlier post on V Day), buy her a chocolate as big as a car. She will eat it, while bonding with her girl friends, and tell them what a jerk you were to forget her birthday. (Hey, no one said this was about YOU winning).
Some more facts about chocolate :
A square of dark chocolate a day prevents strokes. (Therefore, 10 squares should be even healthier).
Good for headaches. Good for PMS. Good for depression. Good for morning perk-ups. Good for evening fatigue. Aphrodisiac.
Bad for the Big Butt Society. It has about a hundred calories in every bite I’m afraid.
However, I have a loophole even for this.
The Ugandan village males like fat women. They have a ‘fattening hut’ where they will keep you for months before they even consider marrying you.
Learning : Girlfriends unite! Let’s meet, eat chocolate and all go to Uganda after that.
JANE KIDDING. my life as a pretty (bad) mom, worse manager and good survivor, and how to find everything hysterical (strictly in hindsight).
i am in for going to uganda...will even buy you a ticket for suggesting this great idea.
ReplyDeletei too fight for my share of chocolate, even with kids, guests, husband...i mean anybody that when i already cheat while sharing the chocolate,blaming it on my poor math.
left over! the only thing thats ever left over in a fridge are cucumber/radish/carrot etc for salad :D why don't they make a fuel out of that :)
yes, jg----- 'Learning' is good but Uganda is far how 'bout shanti's abode in Conoor for a chocolate meet? ;-) I will come with chocolate treats :-)
ReplyDeletehere are a few chocolate quotes -----
"I'm not overweight, just chocolate enriched"
"My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far today, I have finished 2 bags of M&M's and a chocolate cake. I feel better already. - Dave Barry
"Just think of all the wonderful blessings you've been given. Chocolate, dark chocolate, chocolate truffles...
and last but not the least----
"Stress wouldn't be so hard to take if it were chocolate covered."
Ode to Chocolate-----by sms
chocolate oh chocolate
u make me live
my life you thrill
u do satiate my inner core
be it milk, light, or dark!
my only wish
i can tell
i hope you're there
when i get to heaven or hell!
GO CHOCOLATE!!
Hey Janie, I luved reading ur blog but babe u will be disappointed...I don't like chocolates...not at all :) What kind of a woman am I?
ReplyDeleteUganda tickets being booked!
ReplyDelete@ Bindazz, send all those chocs over here then, you traitor to the Venus sorority !
ReplyDelete@ sms, poetry sounds more sublime when it's about chocolate :)
@ puja - hehe - now carrot fuel i can live with !
How on earth do you manage to stay so slim with such choc mania? Sweetheart, you can have all my share of chocolates! I could never understand what the fuss about chocs was ever about!!! The only time I ate chocolate was in my 3rd trimester to boost up my iron!
ReplyDeleteChocolate is good. It is one of the most versatile foods known to humankind. it can be eaten on its own, sprinkled on most other foods, melted and poured on even more, baked into some, infused into others...you get the drift. I'd go on, but need to go remind myself of new uses down by the refrigerator.
ReplyDeleteChocolate is much needed to fuel work
ReplyDeleteDid Willy Wonka have a wife? If so, she'd been the most object of envy amongst her peers. She would even have overlooked his eccentricities for that choco-dip waterfall every morning.
ReplyDeleteAh! jane! chocoholics unite. and uganda here we come!! and we'll book two seats for each of us back...no no no...not for the ugandan male..but for chocolate we are going to pick up at the duty free somewhere enroute!
ReplyDeleteloved your write-up abt the car windows,valentine's day and murphy's law!!
ReplyDeletechocolate well,shd focus only on the pluses becoz tat is a support system which is available, no matter what.
Chocolates bad for memory though.
ReplyDeleteI had lunch alone, on Wednesday and Thursday.
:-(
which is good for you, vinoo. alone is how great film directors always are. saw NINe on fellini today :P
ReplyDelete