WoMandatory

This is in heated defence of what S calls the advantage of being a male – “you don’t have to carry a bag of useful things around.”

Dip-bag research held immediately.
Results :

- 93% of women friends carry a Biiig bag to put all the things that might be needed. Like a hockey stick – hey, you never know when you’d need that. My Ma has never thrown out anything since 1960 because she’s convinced we will all need that some day.
- 10% of women carry photographs of old boyfriends UNDER the picture of their husband.
- 30% of women carry a pair of running shoes, since they wear thigh-twistingly high heels to look taller than their Boss
- 82 % of women carry tissues, in case they go for a movie, and in case the movie is sad, and in case they cry, and in case they have no man’s shirt nearby to wipe their noses on.
- 3 % of women carry money for impulse shopping. The other 97% do NO impulse shopping (that they can’t buy on their card). 96% of these carry their ‘joint account’ card. Ahem!
- 57% of women carry chocolates/ candies/ gum/ roasted pork chops with burnt sauce – in their bags in case hunger pangs hit.
- 35% percent carry safety pins to “accidentally” jab viciously into that man in the bus who “accidentally” falls on them. The others carry more dangerous weapons.
- Many percent carry lipsticks, perfumes, sunscreen, mascara – and a spare toothbrush.
- 45% of women carry age-proof that proves they are 15 years younger than they actually are.
- Zero percent of women carry anything “useful” if it doesn’t look expensive or make them look expensive.

Dip-stick research carried out on men friends as to what they’d carry if they had to carry a big bag – turned out responses like “But Why?” or "Why Me?" , and were invalidated.

Note : Nowadays, women in fashion magazines are not seen with a big bag, but something called a ‘clutch’ – which is the size of a post card, and as slim. These are not ‘real women’ but cut-outs of paper, that weigh as much, and are born without things such as brains and ‘hunger pangs’ – both needed to adequately fill that big bag.