Dog blog

Hi, I’m Marco Polo, Jane’s rescued dog – and forget what she’s been saying – here’s my wisdom from almost 11 years (that’s 77 in dog years) in this crazy world.

When you’re happy, show them! Jump all over them, lick their ears (the little ones’ cheeks taste nicer to lick, the bigger males have pokey stubble!)  When they come home after a long day out, wag your tail till it almost falls off. Everyone loves to come home to a fantastic welcome.

Never take any medicine. They say it’s good for you, but don’t. Even if they open your jaws to stuff it in, just spit it out, sniffle, sneeze and go and curl up and feel as sick as a – right – as a dog – till you feel better. Curling up tight is a super way to feel warm and better soon. If Jane lets me curl up near her, I get better sooner.

Never trust a stranger. If anyone comes near my pups (oh, ok, they’re actually Jane’s pups – Neel and Niks) – I bare my teeth and growl. I’ll defend them with my life! They’re rather silly – these human pups – they don’t know who to trust and who not to.

No matter who you are, if you’re poor or unpopular or dirty or depressed – if you’re good to me, I’ll love you back with my whole heart. I know no other way. I’ll follow my loved ones anywhere. (I even follow Jane into the bathroom when she’s sick and puking, but she shoos me off!)

That’s all really. Simple rules. I’m a happy, no-nonsense guy. I’ve got no hang-ups. I’ll lick my balls in public if I need to. I tear up things when I’m sad. I don’t collect things I never need. I eat, I love, and if you follow these simple rules, you’re going to be a lot happier like me. (Except for the ball-licking thing, humans don’t manage that so well!)

Love is blind... spots

Very interesting conversation driving  out last evening with my 2 girl friends. Love, happens, they said, when you see imperfections – the dark side of the moon – the loony bend. It’s tough to like someone perfect.

Proof? Research says 9 out of 10 men think their partners are not perfect (Hmph – need glasses, don’t they?) but –here’s the whopper! They like them like that! Imperfect!

And more proof! A couple of years back, we did a ‘house-building’ school project at home for  Neel  –all of us together.  Orange juice carton skyscrapers which kept toppling over, windows that kept coming unstuck and grass that was shedding faster than cat’s fur. So, running into school with our buildings that looked earthquake-struck, we saw high heels come out of a big car. And another mom sweeps out with immaculate hair and an immaculate Swiss villa – complete with darling little lamp-posts and a charming chimney! I hated her and her villa on sight!

Jealousy? Of course! We’re human, and we like other humans! We can admire someone who’s perfect, or pray to them, or even follow them on Twitter. But friends – Nah!

Back to my 2 girlfriends in the car – quite accidentally,  I needed to test their theory at once. I had a migraine and was sick as a cow on the way home, moaning, groaning for almost an hour, including stopping the car to gurgle and gush into a roadside drain. They saw my imperfections all right, right back till last night’s dinner. And they were still nice to me!

No roses on Valentine Day?

Like most girls, I used to measure how much I was loved by the number of roses, cards, chocolates I got on Val Day.
Like most guys, S doesn’t know what Valentine’s Day even is.
Me : What is Feb 14th ?
S : Tuesday.

This year, it wasn’t any different. No roses. No cards. No wishes.
This is how Val Day went :

S & I were going to the library. I was 45 minutes late. He pretended not to notice.
“I’ll just rush in, get a book, and rush out,”; I said. I spent 25 minutes there, totally forgetting about the rusharound promise. S kept Nik busy all the while, chasing him down one aisle, and up the other, picking up every book Nik pulled out, answering every question Nik asked.
Nik : ‘What you doin?’
S : Reading books.
Nik : Ok. Now, what you doin ?

S filled my car up full tank of petrol.
He paid my phone bill.
He took our 5 year old for a party to have a blast with his own pals.
He couriered a letter for me.
He sat while I had a huge filter coffee.
We both went for a walk in the evening. I changed my mind 3 times over about what to get for dinner. Even the waiter looked like he wanted to throw the naan at me.

I got home with a bad headache.
So S fed Nik.
Nik : I don’t want bread.
S : This is Naan.
Nik : I don’t want Naan.
S : This is not Naan.
Nik :I don’t want Not Naan……


In the evening, a good girl friend wished me Happy Valentine’s Day. What did S give you? She asked.

He gave me the best ever Feb 14th. And 15th. And 16th.

Learning : It’s never measured in roses.