Friday, November 18, 2011

the baby that killed me

News articles so far I have seen about Aishwarya Rai:


-          She  dumped Vivek Oberoi and Salman Khan

-          She said Yes to the Bacchan baccha on a flight (where she opted for veg meal with tea)

-          She is pregnant

-          No, she is not pregnant

-          She can never get pregnant

-          She is suing all newspapers that said she was pregnant

-          She is pregnant

-          She is wearing kolhapuri chappals

-          She is wearing green on her baby shower

-          She is having a baby on 11.11.11

-          She is not having a baby on 11.11.11

-          She is not too posh to push. Natural birthing it is.

-          She is going into labour.

(SO AM I! I’m in pain. I’ve never been happier to see someone go into labour – and I do hope she has a short one because I so want her to get off the news!)

News articles that have been pushed to page 2 or 22 because of this:

-          World on brink of war. No more oil reserves. Petrol dried up. Temperature’s rising. Another Tsunami expected. Incurable virus spreading.

Somewhere, when I’m taking my last dying gasp of breath, Hindi-movie style, the doc will tell me, “But why didn’t you prepare yourself? Everyone else knows - About the tsunamis and wars and viruses that are now killing you!”

“Are you crazy?” I will reply. “Don’t you ever read the news?”




21 comments:

  1. Could not agree more ! This type of reporting is a waste of our time ! But it probably is getting page hits. Sharp and cutting blog, Jandy !

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  2. U r simply gifted...hillarious post! And did u hear the family had to request media not to cover the news!

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  3. the fluff of the ridiculous will have an audience.
    like the 'kardashians/hiltons et al s****
    good one jg!

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  4. That's today's journalism!The NEWS channels are no different from the film industry...they thrive on stories and their stories are supposedly what the public demands!!But when I read it as somebody's status message on Facebook-it made me realize that YES-there are people who consider such things as NEWS and there are others who SENSATIONALIZE such unimportant events!!Nothing much that we can do except grin and bear...

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  5. The same day a worker had a baby right under a tree in front of my house..no halla no noise. Gave her a blanket & hot milk with haldi , some sheets & towels & she left smiling!!

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  6. I found out about the media circus surrounding Aish's pregnancy & the junior B's birth only recently - I guess staying out of the country sometimes has its advantages! Ha ha. But do feel sorry for the baby-so much unnecessary media attention even before she's born, what pressures she would be growing up under! Sound like a lot of people are cursing her already, thanks to the media!

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  7. Jane, I think pushing the depressing news to page 2 or 22:
    World on brink of war. No more oil reserves. Petrol dried up. Temperature’s rising. Another Tsunami expected. Incurable virus spreading.
    ....is almost a good thing even though I agree with your blog :))

    And I think we should trash the news channels and media, than the people in news !!! The people in the news suffer both ways....first they have continuous interference in their lives by the media and then everyone else blames them for it too ;)

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  8. Spot on Jane! I am quite sick if the obsession with the B family - now is just the beginning! We have to endure the complete childhood :)

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  9. @keyamom/ vatsala. you're right. i did feel more than a tinge of guilt about centering my angst around the baby.

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  10. Jane Jane jane - that was terrific! Loved it - read and laughed and felt good - and just to let you know that Greg is feeling real good too!!! Loved it Jane!

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  11. @leela - you mean that facebook someone was me? posting and adding to the general bacchan baby hysteria?

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  12. @seema singh - that was just so touching. the kind of thing i have come to associate with you. note - i cannot find anything funny to say this time.

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  13. Oh no if the media wont say all that what will happen to my only gossip haha!!!!!!!!!!

    Before you flip this is irakidding :P

    PS laughed all the way reading!!!!!!!!!!!!!!loved it

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  14. thanks @ira kidding. @sms - apparently kim kardashian staged her own marriage as a PR stunt. tell tell. if you have any deep insights into this.

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  15. @bindu - big B is a marketing whizz methinks. he plays his fans like strings on a guitar. and i'm saying this in the nicest possible way. :)

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  16. I gave vent to my feelings on this issue but on the wrong page !!!!!!!!! jane can i be saved yet ?????????????? But terrific post, you nailed it abs right ...... loved it ...
    Pappy

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  17. Nope,Jane....not you.We have a star crazy batchmate- Lolly darling-who is upto date with all that's happening in Bollywood!!No offence meant,Lolly!!!You do add spice to the otherwise boring FB page...Love you all...

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  18. You are absolutely right Jane... was laughing when i was reading this one! Family B provides more(than necessary) fodder to the media than anybody ever did.....:-). Now we will hear all about how the baby pooped, smiled, played blah blah. I have nothing against the newborn, mind you! Poor thing has to endure the constant media bytes from now on...

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  19. gosh, shalini - you are right. the baby's going to be a little goldfish in a glass bowl.

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